A Blue Christmas
the horrors persist, but so must we plus a trash panic state of the union and a party for the end of the world
Got The Morbs
(this is a long one and may be truncated in your inbox!)
*long extended fart noise*
Brain rot? More like brain fraught!
When I haven’t been wholly snot-sobbing thinking of Samwise’s speech to Frodo, I’ve been oscillating somewhere between deep melancholy, vehement rage and absurdly dark humor to get through the last however many infinitely long and incredibly short days following the flaming trash can that was the presidential election.
My group texts have been alive with the pinging sounds of sharing ridiculous tweets most of us saved at the rock bottom of the pandemic (literally us) that once again sum up the complex, deeply intricate tangle of emotions we are all struggling to find the energy to put real words to - everything we know about existence on earth and life around us feels enormously stupid yet exquisitely fragile.
It’s bewildering to be a person who feels incredible empathy for humanity but also deep cynicism for the commonplace foolishness of the (white) masses. It’s hard to fully grasp that life, as we know it, on this giant rock hurdling through space is about to change forever. And if you think I’m being hyperbolic, I would highly encourage cracking open a history book - we’ve been here before 🙃
If you’re looking for words of comfort, I don’t think there are any (us white people need to learn! to sit! in discomfort!) but I do hope we can all find some liberation in Drew Carey’s wise words:
There’s a cathartic, slightly twisted freedom to be found when the world feels like it’s *actually* ending and all the frivolous fears and ridiculous anxieties you’ve ever had of being perceived suddenly appear incredibly silly in the grand scheme of pointless stuff and things (see also: nihilism 101)
I’m not sure there’s really much of any reason to be saying any of this, except that maybe it’s nice to hear from somebody else that it’s okay to not be okay and it’s probably okay to start saying “yolo” again.
It would be the understatement of the century to say it has felt hellishly heavy to find the appetite-enthusiasm-motivation-energy-zest to sit down, click “new text post” and face the daunting empty abyss that lurks beyond the blinking cursor, an overwhelming numbness towards the idea of “business as usual.”
While living a secondhand-minded existence is about to become super-duper-crazy-more-important-than-ever, I have felt deep ick at the thought of pushing a million “happy holidays! nothing to see here!” eBay affiliate links while we all experience this Hans Zimmer-esque heavy, vibrating, sound-barrier-breaking shift in the timeline. If you’re still not in the mood (or never in the mood) to have holiday cheer shoved down your throat, I get it.
Capitalism is a never satiated creature though, and life has already seemingly gone on in this category as many of us make our livings being necessary cogs in the machine of consumption. While I know many folks are looking for levity and distraction amongst the sea of think pieces and divisive fodder, I thought it best to take last week away from this space and really meditate on the ethos of this corner of the internet and its future.
A Trash Panic State of the Union
And with that, I would like to address you, my fellow Trash Heads, about this tiny corner of the internet.
I am absolutely blown away to have a few thousand of you letting me take up precious inbox space - ‘tis an honor to share my thoughts, feels, and finds with you. I am grateful to have you here and take great pleasure in the joy that comes from seeing the bonds blossoming, the internet friends being made, and the jubilation found in discovering vintage treasures.
While I expressed hesitation to implement a paywall in my last newsletter, I have made the decision to, in fact, turn it on. The reasoning being two-fold:
Funding the growth of Trash Panic. This week away has given me time to draw up where I’d like to see this newsletter in 2025 and those plans consist of some very festive ideas that require a lot of additional time, energy, and digging to dream up. I spend anywhere from 25-40 hours a week (on top of my actual freelance career) curating, editing and photoshopping every newsletter in hopes it really feels worth it to you and being compensated for that time helps fund more content.
The privilege of having a voice. The results of the election have me fearful for many already vulnerable communities that need support now more than ever. Donating a portion of paid subscriptions and affiliate link commission is literally the least I can do to show up for the people, family and friends that make up the colorful-intricate-delightfully-unique fabric of our society.
For the remainder of 2024 all of my content will be fully accessible to everyone, whether you choose a paid option or not. I haven’t fully fleshed out how exactly that will shift in 2025 but I will update everyone when it does. I want to keep most of my content available for everyone with additional perks living behind the paywall. By opting in to a paid subscription you will be helping to fund this space as well as a mutual aid fund of my choosing.
All of the proceeds from paid subscriptions and affiliate links in November and December will be donated to Transanta, a mutual aid project that connects anonymous gift-givers with trans youth who are unhoused, in foster care, or otherwise without crucial support they need to thrive.1 Starting in January a portion of subscription and affiliate link revenue will go towards a new fund that has yet to be determined.
Trash Panic will forever be for celebrating wacky weirdness and wonder. There’s listening to be done, words to be shared, and exquisite vintage finds to be found and I hope you will stay for the ride.
Now onto a teeny tiny itty bitty bit of holiday cheer.
The Holiday Shindig
Let’s be honest. The holidays absolutely suck for a lot of people (she says after promising you holiday cheer lol.) This time of year can be particularly weird, congested with moments of quiet but palpable tension, crippling, tearful loneliness and an intricately tangled yearning for a sense of belonging. Everything advertised right now is glossy, opulent, and bright, the expectation that everyone need have a flourishing social calendar and no shortage of holiday engagements at an annual high.
Community is the buzz word of the moment, everyone clinging to some hope that the moral good will prevail if we just hold each other really really tight. But with great power comes great responsibility — to nurture the fellowship we crave requires stepping outside our comfort zone and inviting everyone to the table.
This is your sign to text the friend you lost touch with, the family member you know might be in need of a warm fuzzy, a colleague you don’t know all that well. There is no time like the present to redefine what the holidays can mean to you and your idea of “community” outside of convenience and dusty old religious ideals.
As someone estranged from 90% of my family, I spent about a decade alone on Christmas Day. There were years of plenty of tears but also plenty of good Chinese food and growth. I wouldn’t have found peace in being “alone” in public had I not experienced those years of lonely weirdness. There’s power in being able to make a holiday what you want it to be (which for years meant: me, a matinee at the Balboa Theater, and dinner at Kingdom of Dumpling - not too shabby, if you ask me!)
While merry and bright sure looks to be a little dim and dull this year, here are some hopefully new to you, outside of the box ideas to encourage you to have a little get together with the people you love.
A Blue(ish) Christmas
There’s no wrong way to decorate for the holidays…. but! I will shout from the rooftops that this is the time of year for the more is more is more is more approach, especially since the world is ending. Life is too short to be collecting minimalist glass trees that look like butt plugs and beige blah everything else. I said what I said! But you do you!! Ignore the haters (me included!) If you like bows but everyone says they’re trendy, whatever! put a fucking bow on it!!
My approach for collecting holiday decorations has been to never settle for anything too on the nose and specific. My taste changes *so* much I’ve had to narrow in on what stays consistent/can feel cool no matter what and this is where I’ve landed: shades of dusty blues, rich velvety reds, vintage glass ornaments and aged metals. Mixing in abalone and mother of pearl adds colors and textures that feel really luxurious but also work for just about any other occasion. I feel like I’m really headed towards having a solid box of sustainable decorations that I can pull out any time of the year rather than annually unboxing our Christmas stuff wanting to donate everything.
This collection of finds includes a wide variety of price points and fanciness, but I think it’s a nice jumping off point for dreaming up what a gathering can look like. You don’t need an insane budget and lots of luxury linens, crystal and silver— just the metal goods aisle of the thrift store, the ribbon aisle at the craft store, a roam around your local hardware store and your imagination! Things don’t need to match, be expensive or over-the-top to be special.
silver coupes (set of six, $57.60 on sale)
abalone hot plate trivet ($16) - art for your table before dinner is even served!
powder blue silk moire ribbon ($5.25 a yard) - ribbon can be reused over and over and there’s so much you can do with it - bows on candle sticks (don’t set them on fire) bows around vases and bowls, streamers hanging from lights, etc etc
vintage 1930s chinese folding lantern (set of two, $14.50, purchase on eBay)- like any good party person, i love a balloon, but they really aren’t doing us any favors environmentally - investing in collapsible paper lanterns is a festive way to add hanging ambience year after year
abalone inlay brass tray ($42.86, ships from Canada, purchase on eBay)
abalone ice bucket with tongs ($249, purchase on eBay) - talk about a fucking statement piece!!! this thing is insanely gorgeous and sexy!!! there are some other great alternatives here, here, here and here and bonus mention to this jeweled one *alt idea* get some cool buckets from the hardware store, like these (try to shop local plz) and put big cellophane bows around them
mother of pearl spoon set ($19.95)
bimini glass champagne coupes (set of three, $185, purchase on eBay) - if you’ve been here awhile you know i never shut up about these - buy them so i can live vicariously through you!
art deco punch bowl ($135, purchase on eBay) - love the planet vibes of this and you can rest cocktail glasses on the rim - dang, it’s just so cool (this set is also very chic)
shot dispenser with glasses ($77.73 on sale, purchase on eBay) - taking a shot has never been more appealing which is really saying something
klein blue fabric napkins (set of four, $15)
lammes sherbet mint wafers - these are so old school and weird as far as candy goes but i think the nostalgia factor is very cool and you could decorate a dessert with them or make them the shingles on a gingerbread house
vintage bimini glass ornament garland ($135, purchase on eBay) - hang in a doorway, on a tree, on a garland, around the snack table and use it for other holidays - who says its only christmas appropriate? maybe with a pink and red paper garland for valentines day….
brown polka dot dessert plates (set of four, $46) - polka dots= festive but not too specific
brass dresden wreath ($79.99, purchase on eBay) - this is small, only 11” diameter but it’s gorgeous for all year round - dresden wreaths are highly collectible and i’ve loved them ever since i saw them on a 90s episode of martha stewart - another option here
paper doilies - you can get these at most craft stores - i use these on just about any old thing i’m serving food on, just to make sure things stay sanitary
swirly serving spoon and fork ($17.50, purchase on eBay) - SO many cool options in this category like these one, these ones, and these ones
abalone inlay water pitcher ($195) - a literal work of art worthy of being displayed on your shelves all year round
vintage blue tinsel garland (deadstock, 30 ft long, $45.80)
glass ball candlesticks ($64.99, purchase on eBay) - these are so weird in the best way lol
vintage crazy quilt topper ($149.95, purchase on eBay) - old quilt toppers have no batting or backing to them and i think would make a cool table runner, giant bow, etc etc
vintage metal tinsel ($39.99, purchase on eBay) - i love traditional tinsel but i have a cat so that’s not an option for me… these are more structured and very cool and easy to hang from garlands or even lamp shades with a piece of fishing line!
vintage mini blue glass ornament bulbs (two boxes available, $42 each)
silver mushroom salt and pepper shakers ($44, purchase on eBay) - a statement salt and pepper shaker is a great grazing table conversation starter…. other fun options here and here
articulated abalone fish bottle opener ($27.88, purchase on eBay)
brass tulip candle snuffer ($13.99, purchase on eBay)
gemstone appetizer sticks (set of 12, $35, purchase on eBay) - these ones are also rad
1960s cocktail shaker ($95, purchase on eBay) - a weird cocktail shaker is a must!
more ideas to get your creative wheels turning:
make a paper garland - maybe out of some fancy marbled paper like this? or get some crafting foil and make a metal one
put taper candles in old wine bottles - recycling at its finest & a bonus if you get one of those festive colorful drip candles
play with your food! a brussels sprout tower, pearled fruit, bows on a baguette kind of weird tablescape is instant fun
a cigarette tower because the world the ending
put funky things in ice cubes - peppers, fruits, flowers, go wild!
big giant oversized bows because i still think they’re cool
and don’t overthink your food! last year i did a loaded fry bar filled with toppings and sauces and it was a hit because who doesn’t love a french fry?
Well, there ya have it.
As always, let me know if anything isn’t linked correctly since it always makes my brain hurt.
Oh! and here’s a playlist of party worthy christmas music, if your heart so desires:
Until next time,
Xo,
G
If you make a purchase through a link, I might earn a commission, which helps fund this space ✨
invite me over when you do the cigarette tower
YOLO!