An eBay Wonderland
getting lost in the social media sauce and an in-depth look into how I treasure hunt on eBay + tips, tricks
Happy Thursday!
Not my usual day for posting but life is life-ing (kicking my ass)! An end-of-month "Dump" will land in your inbox this weekend, so today, I’m finally spilling on one of the most requested topics I’ve been asked to cover — how I use eBay. Obviously a tremendous topic to cover, so this may be part of a two (or three) part series.
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Thank you for being here, it means a lot to have you as a reader ✨
The Place That Cannot Be
A big thank you to my friend Lindsay, who helped edit this essay for clarity (and so you didn’t think I was a big ol’ bitter bitch)
I know I’m about to be teetering dangerously close to Substack-super-villain-mean-girl-bully-who-only-writes-rage-bait-and-speaks-in-absolutes territory, but I promise we’re all in this together so try to hear me out before you label me Certified Hater™️
It seems as though many people here *waves arms towards the Substack home page* think they’ve triumphantly escaped the wicked, spindly tendrils of the TikTok and Instagram algorithms and found ✨Utopia✨ within the hallowed, sacred walls of Substack, devout to the belief that only here does nuance, depth, and individuality thrive.
But alas, I come the bearer of bad news —
We are already knee-deep in an identical spiral of same same same, the only difference is this one has more words, less ads, and a lingering, intoxicating new car smell.
I fear the bleak reality is almost any app, website, corner of the internet with even a whisper of a social component will inevitably, eventually, suck its user into the endless treadmill of curated desire — running on a road to nowhere, never actually getting anywhere anyone wants to be, chasing satisfaction that may never come and making everyone crave the same handful of things.
The world is so much bigger than the feed.
And lest you think I am preaching as if I am immune from this affliction. I started my own multi-step recovery journey from the terrifying soul-sucking, sickly grip of the social scroll back in late 2019, when I quit my miserable styling job. My media diet was only brands and magazines and e-commerce and style reports and trend predictions and street style photos and society pages and blogs and *spoiler alert* it all came crashing down at the end. All I was left with was crippling credit card debt and feeling like miserable worthless garbage trash. If I just bought that one thing! I would be whole!
These photos may not mean much to you, mere internet stranger, but to me they are a reflection of what happens when you get lost in the social media sauce.
The top row is me back in 2016, pre soul sucking fashion job. I spent a lot of time thrifting and antiquing and hunting for special things and not a lot of time engaging on social media (curated IG posts, yes. Craving something trendy because some influencer had it, no.) That middle outfit is vintage Gaultier and The Row (before The Row was The Row) and cost me less than $150. I was so proud.
The middle row is while I was working the soul sucking fashion job. I didn’t take a lot of full outfit pictures because I was miserable, overworked and usually bouncing between hotels and millionaires’ closets in Houston and NYC. I wore mostly Zara and H&M and bought cheap, shitty designer pieces I didn’t even like off the The Real Real. I was addicted to scrolling new arrivals, following influencers and trends, and looking thin and expen$ive so my boss would like me. I was always one cry away from a menty b. Everything I bought during this era of my life I have donated or sold. I literally don’t recognize myself in these photos.
The bottom row is the last year or so, after limiting the time I spend in any online algorithm (my TikTok and IG apps have 30 min time limits on them and I’m about to do the same with Substack tbh) I’ve been spending more time hunting for fun things that pique my interests in other corners of the internet and experimenting with dressing “weirder, uglier, stranger.” So far, I’d say it’s going pretty well. 90% of what I purchased in 2024 was secondhand, vintage, or antique. I no longer subscribe to any marketing emails and I have heavily limited the brands I follow online.
Being too heavy in the orbit of curated social media stripped away the joy and pleasure and romance and revelation that comes from being curious. The satisfaction of going down a rabbit hole and seeing where you might end up and what you might learn.
If any of us were truly committed to freedom and true self-discovery, we would delete every app, unsubscribe from every marketing email, and go touch grass, FOREVER. I know two people in my life who have done that—and, much to my horror, they’re not only thriving, they’re both insufferably happy AND ridiculously stylish. Go figure. I can’t even be mad that they’re terrible at texting me back. They hum at a completely different vibration than the rest of us.
Unfortunately, I <3 the internet too much to ever do such a thing.
I don’t think Notes themselves are the ultimate villain, but rather the amount of time we’re spending sucked into other people’s orbits (even if the orbit is positive), not realizing how it affects, how it shapes, how it molds our own personal bubble. As an aging millennial, I am deeply nostalgic, almost to the point of frustration, for the time when we could exist in quiet anonymity, untouched by the relentless scrutiny, pressure, and consistent fomo of online. If no one could see you do it, would you still do it?
Real life isn’t an aesthetic, and while I appreciate seeing things in perfect visual harmony, I’m not convinced that true satisfaction comes from committing to and living within the boundaries of just one vibe. We need to go deeper!
These ramblings are about balance and not absolutes, and yes, I see the irony of saying this here, in this space. I think the solution is being more intentional about what we do when we log on — less time on the revolving hamster wheel, more time on the solo kind of adventures that lead to personal epiphany. Taking in what we love from our favorite creators, writers, internet friends, and using that style inspiration, think piece, or mood board curation as a jumping off point rather than Holy Gospel. (Something I hope you feel when you come to this corner of the internet!) How will you make it your own?
I can, perhaps, provide at least one resource that can help flesh out the answer to that question — it won’t get you touching grass, but it might bring to light something you didn’t know about yourself before. Let me nudge you to replace one addiction with another (hey, at least I’m self aware)! Something that feels like its own weird, rewarding little game of self discovery, that can broaden your taste beyond the limits of scrolling through something The Internet Robot curated for you.
Let me take you down the wonderful, never-ending, winding road — the ✨eu-topos✨, if you will, that is eBay.
The Good Place
I consider myself a lifelong lover of hunting down rare, special old things, but it wasn’t until about three years ago that I really unlocked the magic of eBay. At first, I could barely bring myself to navigate the site, which 100% feels like a relic of the early ‘90s in the best and worst ways. I admire eBay’s dedication to “if it ain’t broke, I’m not updating it.”
From what I gather, many of you share the same hesitation. But let me reassure you—beyond that clunky interface lies a treasure trove, and trust me, it’s good.
There’s no better way to spend an evening, in my opinion, than pouring myself a glass of something indulgent (I’m drinking less these days and hate to admit that I do, in fact, feel great *fart noise*), sinking into an episode of Real Housewives, and getting lost in my eBay app. It scratches that itch to mindlessly scroll through social media, without the impending sense of doom or anxiety that inevitably comes with it. The real joy is in the discovery. The millions of items waiting to be unearthed—even if you never end up buying anything. I’ve found myself learning about fine artists, photographers, jazz musicians, indie designers, forgotten couture houses, obscure Italian shoe brands, vintage ephemera, etc etc etc etc. The rabbit hole is endless, and marvelous and never leaves me feeling like poo poo garbage — except when I see my screen time report on Sunday mornings….
I’ll preface this guide by saying there is really no wrong way to eBay. I’m sure many of you have a completely different approach than I do and that’s what makes it all the more special. I’ll be going through my approach on the eBay desktop, but the app works very similarly.
Let’s get into it.
The Basics
Download the app — I use both the desktop version of eBay and the iOS app for iPhone and would highly recommend doing the same. There are benefits (and pitfalls) to using both!
Turn on push notifications — eBay will alert you if a seller sends you a private offer, if your best offer was approved, if a listing is about to expire, if your bid was accepted, if you were outbid, etc etc.
Make an account — You will want to do this to save items to your watchlist, save searches, bid on auctions, and easily order items.
Save a form of payment — This one will make my significant other who works in cybersecurity cringe, but it’s really the only option if you want to send a seller your “best offer” (if they accept, you pre-agree to the terms that you will buy the item and be charged automatically)
Filters Are Your Friend
The meat and potatoes of this guide will live behind the paywall — I promise to make it worth it!
Below… how I use filters, what keywords I search, how I discover treasures, making the most of your Watchlist and more….