The Charlie Browniest of Feels

a swirly twirly roundabout of thoughts as we enter the greediest time of the year.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again - the world literally spins faster come October 1st. 

As summer fun in the sun starts to fade, there’s a dull hum in the atmosphere that begins to amplify as each day passes. It feels like a perpetual “Sunday scary,” an anxiety that begins to tickle deep in your chest, a mix of nostalgia and existential dread as you realize — the holidays are coming. 

While rampant consumerism has defined the holiday season for decades, nothing has made the need for greed feel more palpable like the birth and growth of the internet, social media, and influencers.

In case you need reminding, it’s oh so incredibly very much not normal and mildly insane and definitely unhealthy that we have access to the entirety of the world in the literal palm of our hand. We were never “supposed” to see the inside of so many stranger’s homes, the snippets and snapshots of everything from the seemingly mundane to polished dinners, parties, and holidays, all blatantly on display for us to compare and panic over. There is a place for the phrase “ignorance is bliss” and this I think, is its best use case. 

As a child of the 90’s, I nostalgically pine for the glamour of roaming decorated department stores, shopping malls and tree lined city streets during Christmas. I have a distinct memory of listening as my grandmother and mom made Black Friday plans:

1. Look at the wreaths in the Macy’s window in Union Square

2. Buy a souvenir ornament in their famous ornament basement

3. Drink a martini and people watch the holiday bustle from the bar window.  

Yes, like a goddamn scene out of a Nora Ephron movie. A wave of jealousy tickles my insides when I think about the holidays in a time where ordering from a catalog was the norm, getting someone their annual boxed sweater was an expectation, and the traditions of winter activities weren’t filled with social media photoshoots and reel recaps but with spending time together and people watching. The recent romanticization of the 90’s is a direct result of the homesickness a decent amount of us have for a time when we didn’t feel death grippy attached to technology. We were free, spending more time out in the world living our lives, rather than yearning for someone else’s.

I’ve seen a lot of “late stage capitalism” discourse lately on how weddings and bachelorette parties have gotten out of hand, how baby birthday parties are putting parents in debt, and how the constant bombardment to buy sponsored, crappily made furniture and polyester clothes is making over-worked 20-somethings feel even more depressed, insecure and bankrupt. The second we started to see what people 5, 10, or 20,000 miles away from us were doing, we suddenly put our worth in our ability to make something picture perfect, rather than focusing on the those important core things life is all about - love, friends, family, growth, rest, etc etc etc… y’know live, laugh, love and all that good stuff!!!

I’ve been dwelling a lot on the content I currently consume, the content I wish I saw more of, and the content I want to be putting out into the world. Because like I’ve said before, the reality is the internet is here to stay — content isn’t going anywhere and the internet is also filled with so many tiny nuggets of good things! Let’s get back to believing that two things can be true at the same time!! The world wide web gives us access to exploring history and artists and design like never before! We can discover new people doing cool things and old people who did cool things like we’ve never been able to!

My last few therapy sessions have centered around discussing the struggle I have being the “face” of this brand. I know this humble newsletter could be so much larger if I committed to pumping out video content and bombarding the algorithm with all the vintage things you “must have.” I’ve tried. I’ve deleted the evidence every single time. For a long time I assumed it was my lack of self confidence - and that’s a portion of it! (And I’m working on it!) But as I really began to sit with it, I think it comes from the fact that I’d rather be a vessel through which you feel like you can be inspired to learn and grow and develop in your own life rather than the person you’re being inspired to be like and copy and feel inferior to.

Making design choices and developing personal style doesn’t happen overnight - it’s a living process that comes with time, something the internet doesn’t afford us in the world of “I want it, and I want it now.” I want you to read Trash Panic and consume my content feeling empowered to make design/fashion/life choices that fit your taste, lifestyle and personal experiences while learning about something new that’s old. I want you to read Trash Panic and look at the empty wall in your living room and go, “I don’t have to fill that wall right now, I can be happy having an empty wall until I find just the right thing I love to go on it.” Because that thought is really hard to have in the current depths of the algorithms we find ourselves in.

And this isn’t to say the content here won’t grow and change and maybe show more of my face and a video or two, but I hope as a reader you always feel like you hold the power to remember that perfectly curated lifescapes are a facade, and that having your dream closet or making your house your dream home is all about quality, not quantity. I’m embracing the process of growing slowly — not at the warp speed the sponsored side of the internet expects of me.

Which leads me into…. gifting season.

Gifting is my love language and something I find brings me genuine joy in sharing with the people I love and cherish. I don’t think a gift has to be large or expensive to be important and impact someone’s life. As the world continues to feel darker, and time begins to feel more precious, gifts to me, mean quality time and core memories with friends and loved ones. I’m already getting bombarded on feeds and timelines with gift guides for a bunch of things I will likely start to think I “need.” It will snowball as the holidays progress into panicking that I don’t have the perfect decorations, hosting serveware, and party dresses I see “everyone else” has until I have a complete nervous breakdown that I’m not cool enough and everyone thinks I’m lame because I don’t own a, b, or c. This is not the way.

I’d like to break the cycle of Amazon storefronts, sponcon, brand partnerships and flagrant displays of nepotism this holiday season and present some gift guides that feel refreshingly unique and a direct reflection of how to show the people around you that you care. Which means, I want to hear from you!!

What are you looking for this holiday season? Who are you shopping for? What’s your budget look like? Have someone tricky to shop for? Want ideas of experiences and not physical gifts? I’ve got lots of ideas up my sleeve of thoughtful gift ideas to share, but I’d love to hear from you on anything you’d like me to cover in the vintage/secondhand/pre-loved/small shop/handmade/experiences realms of the world.

Please leave a comment or simply, reply to this email! I want to hear from you.

With that, I’ll be shifting in holiday mode over here. From hosting finds, to things to wear to holiday parties, to playlists, decoration inspiration and various crafts, everything from now until New Years will feel *generally* holiday focused. I hope you’ll follow along, but if the holidays aren’t your thing, I totally get it.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that this time of year can be weird, filled with moments of quiet but palpable tensions, crippling, tearful loneliness and a yearning for a sense of belonging. If you’re feeling any of those things, you’re very much not alone. The internet is a vast, Dyson-powerful vacuum that will lead you to believe a lot of things about what the holidays are supposed to look like, but I assure you, everyone is a little bit of a fucked up mess, even if it’s hidden behind filters and flashy parties and bright, shiny red-lipsticked smiles. (If you’re looking for a sign to check in on a friend or family member you’ve lost touch with, this is it! Sometimes the best gift is telling someone you’re thinking of them✨)

I’ll be back Friday with this month’s “The Dump” and then it’s all things festive, fun, and joyous.

Until next time,
xo,
G