On Autumn

outdoor thoughts, cozy autumnal finds, old movies to watch and a vibey playlist

Sep 20, 2023

Image sources are all pins located here.

“Never trust a thought that occurs to you indoors.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

There’s always a day, right when the fatigue of one season starts to set in, where my nose finds itself tickling with the faint scent of the season that’s upon us, the sun setting in a certain position in the sky that seems to awaken the nostalgia I have for seasons and holidays of years past — the ones that shape the emotions and sentiment of time passing.

I’m back from my summer hiatus and a few weeks of all over the place travel, and while the daily temperature is still lingering in the 90’s, autumn is here.

The time away has been good.

The seasonal heat depression had me convinced I was a sweatpants troll, drowning in my miserable indoor thoughts, roaming our dark, curtain drawn hallways, convinced the hum of the air conditioning were whispers of all the people in my life laughing in my face as I pursue life/career/freelance creative on the internet.

Turns out, I just needed an ocean breeze and some morning fog to slap me across the face, bring me back to reality, and chill me the fuck out.

Scenes from an ocean walk where I contemplated life and why I gave into the Samba trend.

As “early 30’s-something” becomes “mid 30’s-something” I find myself tired (so tired) of the same repetitive internal fear narrative of being perceived. As someone who has been told their whole life that their creative gifts were meant to be shared, I feel a pressure to deliver perfection every single time instead of trusting a process of failure, learning, and growth. Sharing, especially in the intimate space of your personal inbox, is me putting my heart on a platter and serving it to you, an extreme vulnerability that says exactly who I am, the thoughts that swirly twirl through my brain, and the physical objects and interests that bring me joy.

Luckily, with the help of a trained professional (I have a therapist now!) and literal time outside soaking up a sun that doesn’t feel like touching hell itself, I’ve been reminded these last few weeks that time is really (really, really, really) fleeting, life is short yadayaaah, and that people honestly don’t fucking care that much (or at all) so just post the spon-con, be a little cringe, and get your bag.

It’s giving: wake up babe, the world is ending— just fucking go for it.

And so with that energy, I welcome you back to this space as we enter into the weird accelerated time warp known as “the holidays.”

I’ve got big end of year plans for this space, and I hope you’ll come along as it changes shapes, flows, and feels. I am about to annoy the shit out of your inbox and social media feed with gift guides, vintage finds, hosting ideas, holiday dressing, and some spicy opinion pieces I’ve been stewing on (!!)

All I ask is that if the spirit moves you, please forward Trash Panic to a friend, share it on social, or bring it up during your next work happy hour and maybe tell me you love me because I need the validation lol

Trash Panic is made possible thanks to viewers like you 💫

Now onto the good stuff.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when the school supplies begin to take over the seasonal aisles at Target, fall is officially upon us.

My personal feelings of autumn are a sensory love story to both my childhood and the peak Tumblr days of old (2010) — a mix of 90’s Martha Stewart Living magazine, watching old movies with my grandma with listening to Fleet Foxes on repeat, reblogging pictures of misty forest pics filled with angsty, moody subtext. The butterflies of “back to school” haven’t meant anything to me in decades, so fall has become a time focused on slowing down, resetting, and most importantly, reacquainting myself with the sweater and coat portion of my closet.

While I am certainly a proud member of the masses that flock to rewatch “You’ve Got Mail” and imagine themselves roaming the town square of Gilmore Girl’s “Stars Hollow,” I’ve decided to shift the focus of vibes towards a more vintage-inspired-deconstructed-menswear feel meets crispy-linen-cottage-and-wool-blankets (which hopefully feels fresh from the fatigue of seeing the same “must have” fall favorites that circle the internet this time of year.)

I’ve rounded up some cool secondhand/vintage/handmade clothes and home goods, a few of my favorite fall movies to watch, and a lengthy playlist of songs I like to shuffle on days when the air feels particularly crisp and breezy.

To Wear

Hannah Glenn Hand Ribbon - A ribbon that is cute and also hands. That is all.
Crocheted Collar Striped Shirt - I’m imagining this styled à la Jane Birkin with a high rise jean and a ballet flat. C’est chic and all that jazz.
Liberty of London Silk Scarf - I love vintage Liberty and the colors on this are so perfectly autumnal.
Suede Trench Coat - Still haven’t found the right one for me, but someone needs to buy this vintage suede trench who lives in a place where it never rains but gets chilly.
Jil Sander Turtleneck - I’m allergic to wool but I dream of living in the soft version of this lol
Levi 501s - You can find 501s all over the internet and across a wide spectrum of price ranges, but these feel accurately priced ($55!) for the condition.
Alligator Top Handle Purse - This falls into the fur/exotic leather category/debate/weirdness but vintage alligator bags feel very luxurious and timeless without feeling too costumey.
Pendleton Midi Skirt - She’s cute and fun and flirty and the perfect color way.
Gucci Jordaan Loafers - I think a lot of people are over the Jordaan style horsebit loafer but I find them to be fairly timeless. This blueish greenish greyish color is perfectly perfect for this time of year.

For Your Dwelling

Crayola Crayon Mailing Stamps - Take this as your sign to write a letter to somebody you love. If there’s one thing that makes letter writing more fun, it’s a vintage stamp (just make sure you use enough - 66 cents, bby!)
Lady Day, Billie Holiday - I love, love, love Billie Holiday. She is probably my favorite voice of all time and I particularly enjoy listening to her this time of year. If you say you hate jazz, you’re not listening to the right kind. Blast this while you make a martini at 6pm and feel so many things. All the things.
Brass Apple Trinket Box - A little treat for your coffee table or bar cart.
Jane Austen’s Persuasion - I think autumn is a great time to curl up with a classic, especially a vintage paperback. The smell! The typeface! The perfectly campy cover illustrations!
Vintage Percival Lounge Chair - This chair. This chair!! No notes.
Italian Mid Century Teapot - Fall = tea time and a cute pot is a must.
Noah Davis Coffee Table Book - Noah Davis was an incredibly talented Black painter who passed away at the age of 32 from a rare cancer. His paintings are both colorful and dreamlike and severe and haunting. I just ordered this and look forward to getting to know his works better. I think this time of year makes roaming an art museum feel particularly romantic and would encourage you to check out your local exhibitions on one of these autumn afternoons.
Copper Duck Jello Mold - Copper jello molds remind me of 90’s Martha Stewart and her Turkey Hill home. In our next place, I would love to have a collection of fun shapes hanging in our kitchen.
Hazeltine Candle Discovery Set - Telling someone about a fabulous candle scent is so hard because we all have different palettes for smells and ambiance. I generally love most of Hazeltine’s scents and think this discovery set is genius for figuring out what works best in your space.

To Watch

I feel like there are hundreds of movies I could have chosen, all in varying themes and vibes and eras, but I figured these are films perhaps a few of you haven’t seen before and they are some of my favorite for getting in the fall/autumnal/spooky mood.

Charade - “Romance and suspense ensue in Paris as a woman is pursued by several men who want a fortune her murdered husband had stolen. Whom can she trust?” Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn and Givenchy clothes and Henry Mancini music, oh my! It’s been said to be the greatest Hitchcock movie that Hitchcock never made. Given all the actual Hitchcock on this list, I obviously agree.
Rebecca - Young woman falls in love with dashing aristocratic widower only to find out that his deceased wife is haunting the house and her new husband. This was Hitchcock’s first Hollywood film and the cinematography (the shadows!) is pretty incroyable for 1940.
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir - Gene Tierney moves to the seaside and falls in love with a dead sea captain played by Rex Harrison (aka Henry Higgins.) My grandma and I used to watch this when I would come visit for Thanksgiving. It’s weird in all the right, 1947ish kind of ways.
Rear Window - This is technically a favorite late summer watch for me, given that it takes place during a heatwave in New York, but anything Hitchcock is perfect for fall. Jimmy Stewart, recovering from an accident, decides to start watching his neighbors from his window and is convinced that a murder has taken place. Grace Kelly looks glamorous as ever and becomes his accomplice in trying to solve the mystery. A favorite movie of all time. All time. But maybe that’s because I love Jimmy Stewart.
Notorious - Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman fight N*zis, kind of. A classic Hitchcock film filled with spicy romance! I love classic noir and as someone who hates things that are scary, this is the perfect genre for getting in the spooky season mood.
Two for the Road - This is the outlier in this list, but it’s a wacky film that weirdly sucks you in. Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney reminisce on the ups and downs of their 10 year marriage. Hepburn’s outfits are absolutely insane in this movie and for that alone, you should watch. This movie felt ahead of its time in a lot of ways, shedding light on the complexities of relationships. A good autumn weekend afternoon watch.

To Listen

I’ll leave you with this playlist, which I very much recommend putting on shuffle. It’s filled with favorites that date back to ye olden times of Tumblr and when posting concert pics on Instagram was peak cool. Comment and tell me what I should add!