Crying to Kendrick

emerging from seasonal sads, regular sads, and warm weather things that aren't shorts.

So like, yes, I am fully aware that it was only a mere few months ago that I sat here in your inboxes pontificating about how I thrive best in moody-doom-and-gloom weather, empowered by thunderous rain clouds and living by glowy candlelight, but it maybe turns out there’s a limit to my love. Sue me.

My turning point can most easily be traced to a few weeks ago as this year’s “once in a generation” ice storm swept across Texas leaving me cabin fevered and mentally suffocating from having blackout curtains drawn for over a week.

There is usually some point in winter where I come back to Albert Camus’ famously over tumblr’ed quote from Return to Tipasa—

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”

Oh, how deep I felt those words within my teen-angst-ridden bones, sure that someone would understand all the layers of my inner emotional onion.

Turns out, in the depths of winter I found, within Texas, a balmy 89 degrees February day. Can one even consider a 89 degree day balmy? I have yet to fully understand Texas weather, though I have also been assured by many a Texas native that it’s not something that is ever truly understandable. While I was feeling the fatigue of winter, deeply trying to find the mental manifestation of maybe not summer, but the emotions that vacation and warmth evoke, I was suddenly and unexpectedly punted into browsing for new sandals and dreading the thought of wearing shorts. There are mumblings of more cold weather ahead, but the amount of sunshine staring back at me as I click through the 10 day forecast has me skeptical.

Though I loathe the humid, gross, hot hot heat we endured for most of last year, I currently welcome this burst of warmth, reminding me that I’m not completely dead inside, despite how I may feel. The only other sign being the violent sobbing I found myself experiencing through a murderous interval section of the “Club Bangers” ride I take weekly on the Peloton. In the depth of winter, I also found within me emotional sniffling huffy puffy snot ridden sobs as I jogged out of the saddle to Kendrick Lamar’s “Backseat Freestyle” — you know, the one that goes — “I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower/ so I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours” — like a runners high, only strapped into a bike going nowhere, releasing bubbled up sad feels to the least appropriate-time-to-be-sobbing song possible, feeling... alive! Let this be your reminder that sometimes we are all sensitive tiny little humans that just need to fucking cry. And if you haven’t recently, I would highly recommend it. The catharsis will make you levitate.

The most abrupt shift in all of this weather nonsense has been the open shopping tabs on my browser. Suddenly the long eBay hunt for the perfect, oversized, worn in, distressed leather jacket is on pause (maybe) as I moodboard what I actually want to be wearing this year in 100+ degree weather. Summer 2022 was a learning curve to living in moist sticky yucky wet heat and I discovered very quickly that *I hate it.*

The older I get the more I’m accepting I likely have a textile sensory processing disorder that just might explain why I don’t own any basics. As a kid I would cry if a neckline hit too high, a tag could be felt on my back, a wrinkle was too creased, and if a fabric felt even the slightest bit too rough/scratchy/tight. I struggle with wearing anything too constrictive and rarely, if ever, wear traditional bras. So now it is time! To figure out how to be comfortable and cute when my face is melting off and the boob sweat is relentless!

So0o here are some fun warm weather things I’ve found that match what I’m on the hunt for that 1) are secondhand because yes, I’m still doing that thing and 2) speak to my inner jubilant sumptuous baby because yes, I’m still doing that, too.

The vibes are as follows:

Loose tees and button downs, flowy skirts, slip dresses, and a good bag.

Here are some things I’ve favorited on Etsy that match the vibe/feel cool/might be worthy of a purchase or could lead you down a search hole of something even cooler.

Someone replied to a previous newsletter and asked me if I myself shop on Etsy and the answer is yes! I have the privilege of being able to spend a decent amount of time thrifting locally so often times I don’t think spending $45+ on basics like button downs and skirts is worth it for me because I can find something comparable elsewhere. But! I don’t usually estate sale here because it stresses me out so a lot of those super unique, super vintage, one of a kind pieces I will 100% comb Etsy for. I think the key to shopping on Etsy is having a budget in mind for what you’re willing spend and making sure the item description, photos, and seller reviews are thorough and match what you’re looking for. Ask yourself if you’re going to take the time to find it elsewhere, or “find something better” and if the answer is probably not, I say it’s worth it. There’s nothing more depressing than going through your favorites on Etsy and seeing items that have sold and realizing you had been pining for it more than you had realized. C’est la vie.

(top left moving right) 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15

That red bag! Is! Everything! I feel like the finds above are all great “basic” items you can create so many comfortable looks with and not get immediately tired of the piece. Go forth and buy! And tell me about it!

I’ll be back in your inboxes on Thursday with everything I’ve bought this month - my first haul newsletter! Yippee.

That’s all for now - smell ya later,

xo,
G

PS — I was chatting with some pals the other day who alerted me to the fact Substack requires you to create an account to comment and that perhaps that may be what’s holding you back from starting up the conversation in the comments. I would recommend downloading the Substack app because 1) it’s easy to navigate and 2) you can read all the newsletters you subscribe to in one place which is handy dandy. You can check out my profile to see what other reads I subscribe to here if you’re looking for more people writing about fun things on their corners of the internet.

PPS — Many many thank yous to those who came to the rescue after my TikTok meltdown last month, sharing hot tips/recommendations for shifting my FY page. I am happy to report that while I am still seeing 75% garbage trash content, I have renewed hope for humanity as I find people I vibe with on the algorithm, not to mention making TikToks is surprisingly freeing and maybe even a little fun? (find me @glennmae.)